Comedian,Writer, 6'3 217lbs
My wife giving birth to our son Peter:
Just happened to walk past the spot I lost my virginity years ago... #memories
My daughter hates this playground:
What the fuck is this? cc: @science
WARNING: Have a tissue handy because you will FUCKING EJACU-BLAST™ if you click this link: http://twitpic.com/7d97p0
WARNING: Have a tissue handy because you will EJACU-BLAST™ if you click this link:
This is my friend Sean, who is pretty much the only person I can trust anymore:
I use this to keep track of all the beautiful sisters I meet on Twitter:
What's a "BARP?"
What can I say? I love vids!
I'm doing a part on @comedycentral's new show "Key & Peele" today. This is my trailer door:
WHAT THE FUCK OBAMA?
My adorable wife in her costume:
The shittiest bench in the whole world:
Before Twitter I used to just leave things like this around…
Black people: Please don't pinch the pumpkins.
I'm acting on a TV show today. This is my trailer door:
Daughter kept taking my cigarettes. Had to teach her a lesson.
Took forever but I was able to stuff about $30,000.00 of marijuana in here. #hero
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