You had me at 'Potentially fatal invasive surgery'.
Lord of The Flies.
I asked you all here today because...
My family are round for Sunday lunch.
He hates you.
He hates everyone.
But especially you.
Oh hi, you're home early.
You came to the wrong neighbourhood, punk.
Because he's worth it.
No, Alanis, THIS is irony.
Who likes short shorts?
Do not approach this man.
I can count to potato.
Look at all the fucks this guy doesn't give.
My wife's POV during our sexy rumpy pumpy bouncy hanky panky time.
Murder, she wrote.
How much cute do you want from me?!
Also from @reddit - a cautionary tale.
Some fries, muthafucka.
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