'Here's to the Crazy Ones' (Jobs script read) at One Club Hall of Fame ceremony:

Dude, can we get you a chair? Or a cigarette? You're making us all a little uncomfortable.

@darrellwhitelaw

I think Jamba Juice struggles a bit with new menu items.

I suppose in "hot or not" terms, dying is the ultimate "not."

You could just flush some money down the toilet. But why not do something SPECIAL?

The end is nigh. Repent.

Every now and then @karen350, unprompted, likes to reenact her favorite scene from "The Godfather."

I'm going to try harder.

It won't rot my insides or make my skin hideously blotchy?

How old were you when your parents finally told you about Santa's steroid problem?

TV. Always the same old reruns.

But then I haven't been to my office in 12 years, so what do I know. I say, what is this thing I'm holding?

Sentences will not vary. Length will remain constant. Eyes will glaze over. Minds will become numb.

Waiting for Bob... #rgaos

It's late and I'm maybe not thinking so clearly, but, um... what?

So this arrived in the mail yesterday:

And then you can throw it out and pick up a new one on Monday? I think WSJ needs to get out more.

It's for a video game. But, yeah.

We love shoplifters!!!