Voted best Twitter user on my street for two years running. Work in round-the-world travel. I also invented the hamburger.
Coming to terms with knowing there's a cow out there that's more attractive than I am.
You think you've felt true love? Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but...
Ah Facebook, you never fail to put me off my dinner. At least she isn't posting about her kids' poo for once.
Is a top depicting Jesus surfing without a surfboard inappropriate for work? Y/N
Feel sick but it had to be done. I never want to look back and think, "Damn I could've eaten that." #majorliferegrets
I am condividi questa Coca Cola con @littletinyange
Considering possibility this is (excuse technical jargon) fucked. Knew hoovering was dangerous. Trust your instincts
Already hating this How Bristolian Are You quiz, the fecking thing
Cannot get over this beautiful bay window. I only come up to the bar in the middle, they must be 7ft tall. #nofilter
Never has anything summed me up better, nor been able to pinpoint my biggest personal crisis, than this:
A present! Thanks @jamescourt26!
Dug out my Escape From Alcatraz DVD and found this on it. No idea what it means or where it came from. Mysterious!
No one else working late? What happened to solidarity? Quite like the peace, truth be told.
There were a lot of handsome people in their services uniform. Got to see them at least. Colleague sent this round:
Exactly this. #picturesaysathousandwords
Been staring at this screen for 20 minutes. Yawn. Gerron with it! Would quite like to go home at some point.
Going to spend a fair bit of time this weekend sat in this spot staring out that window. That there is peace to me.
The apartment's view is a bit nicer when you hide the crane behind the balcony's lemon tree ;)
Already imagining myself relaxing on this terrace with a glass of wine and me slags
@Wandsworth_Hack @wandsworthnews Some unlucky people in #clapham today. Hope no one's hurt. http://twitpic.com/dj2ipy
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