Writer for http://t.co/rsfWkfFmJn. Semi-retired model. I love Seinfeld. All opinions my own.
Has anyone asked Bronson Pinchot about the missing plane? The Langoliers was a documentary.
Yes. I’m dressed like a fucking bird. RT @KPL2383: @MelissaStetten have any previews of the shoot?
Woah, @blakegriffin32 just ripped off his jersey like the Tazmanian Devil in Space Jam!
My mirror shattered into the shape of Michigan’s upper peninsula. Coincidence? Or True Detective season 2 plot?
This is all you need to know about @curtislepore:
The Hollywood sign looks weird today…
.@blakegriffin32 #ThisCouldBeUsButYouPlayin (thanks for the photo Mr. Ghostface)
I think this girl on The Bachelor has the twitter bird tattooed on her side.
So, @MrJerryOC is doing #IAmSorryToo next to Shia LaBeouf’s #iamsorry. This is @JensenClan88 with a bag on his head.
I’m at a wrestling match, guys. It’s incredible. @OfficialPWG
Here's the rest of my @23andMe DNA. My great-grandfather was a Nazi. This is pretty surprising.
Dead body gone, back to partying @VirginAmerica!
Fire department and LAPD are "cleaning up." Yeah, cleaning up DEATH.
"We'll get this* taken care of but we should still have an on-time arrival." *dead body.
I won the lottery again?!? What are the odds!!???
@Jenny_IDLYITW @AnthonyCumia while I'm whoring for Sesame Street you seem to be doing well, Miss Piggy impersonator
Still not convinced they're making an Anchorman 2 even though @funnyordie sent me these Ron Burgundy scotch glasses.
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