retired infant. self proclaimed human, oxygen breather, wallet owner, frequent sleeper and former virgin.
David Blaine photobombed my selfie
I found @DavidBlaine
My dog is cuter than yours
My dog couldn't wait for the Dolphins game any longer, so he took a nap.
@BrandonShiingo I just saw this on my timeline. Pretty cool.
Who gave this doofus front row seats?
I think this pigeon smelled my weed. He keeps looking at me funny.
I think I need new shoes.
@Da12thMan Shelton Delfin!
My Heat championship ring just came
Selfies are hard to take with a mask on. D'oh
This is how I feel when my tweets suck.
Homer Simpson is a Canes fan
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