retired infant. self proclaimed human, oxygen breather, wallet owner, frequent sleeper and former virgin.
LMMFAO! this chick has the angriest fake eyebrows I have ever seen! #Friendzone #MTV
Gametime!! Go Phins!!
My impression of women with too much botox #selfiesunday
I guess you can say that I have plans tonight.
I just realized that I own a lot of shirts that say Miami. Here's another one.
This is awesome! @CoralReefer420 has her own smokeshop on GTA V
GTA V time!
It's gonna be a great weedend. #potporn
Dollar General has Christmas lights for sale already! Too bad I just took down my tree last week.
You can never have too many car selfies
Can you tell I'm a fan of The Simpsons?
I know I'm 3 months late but I got my NBA Championship hat today!!
This is me trying to look cool with my hair blowing
Stuff like this is funny to me
This pic is a throwback to 18 minutes ago. #ThrowbackThursday
Free mustache ride, anyone?
My fantasy team is named "no Romo" I just noticed this Snickers ad on my matchup screen.
I don't get any more beautiful than this. #fmlmonday
No one believes that this is my Jaguar #fmlmonday
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