Writer, proud Texan, asshole and owner of 2 dogs.
Follow me on Instagram: jennyjohnsonhi5
I'm not sure Selena Gomez will ever get over this stud. #SideBoob
I'm casting my vote for... RT @peoplemag: We're counting down to the reveal of this year's Sexiest Man Alive.
@ArianFoster @jknice Well, Arian is awesome and we follow each other on Twitter, so Brady can suck it. #GoTexans
@dannygokey So funny! Reminds me of when I wrote it.
Crushing it at the Texans game with @BunBTrillOG Mrs. Bun B and @RichOToole #GoTexans #BullsOnParade
Workin my J. Johnson 5 @HoustonTexans jersey. #Beer #GoTexans #CallMyMomToComePickMeUp
Today is my basset hound's birthday. #HappyBirthdayBirdy
Cute? RT @KimKardashian: Kisses
@Luvdcuties #FranksFight You bet!
I'm really disappointed in Verizon's customer service. They better learn to "handle my replies."
The rest of my week is guaranteed to suck. Thank you, @TheEllenShow #Flattered #HolyShit
The rest of my week is guaranteed to suck. Thank you, @EllenShow #Flattered #HolyShit
The "Taken" guys at the end of the bar sent me a shot of Patron. I'm gonna die tonight, right?
HOLY SHIT!!!! CARMAGEDDON!!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!
I'm not getting money from this, but I can honestly say I fucking LOVE @uber Best iPhone app ever. Uber driver, Anna.
It's fun to imagine Chris Brown is Robin Ventura in this picture
@julieklausner @AnaGasteyer @IamEnidColeslaw I'll bring Birdy if I can be in your club too. Birdy is ready --->
Kris Jenner, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe should totally be jealous of Honey Boo Boo's family. #BonerCity
@Busyphilipps25 I have a daughter named Birdy too!
Shit is getting crazy! One of these chicks is so gonna get pregnant tonight. #DNC
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