I tell tall tales that might include me being a part time Ninja.

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Something that some of you idiots might have a giggle about:

Stick a pin in it now won't you, mate.

Did you *take* a bath today?

Things you can't read with a straight face.

I don't care what you lot say about this but this phone is fucking gorgeous!

I really have to stop having conversations with my goat.

You are welcome.

And so, a guy walks into a bar.

Yes. There *is* a horse in that trailer.

I have no words, Matty, you win. (Breaking Bad image) (Via So Much Pun)

This tweet goes out to the overlappers all around Nairobi. I will be packing this hence.

This is how we do traffic jams in Nairobi.

This is the proper way to do a comment: (via failblog)

Just rip them pipes off. Surely he knows this is inappropriate. But then again he bought a wish. Catch my drift?

Behold, I come quickly. (I would totally go to this church)

The sunset accompanying the impromptu karaoke session in traffic is absolutely gorgeous.

Jam, not the breakfast kind.

dude! 4 screens! Surely a record on my timeline.

This is what is called Internet. Three cheers for Zuku fibre.

I'd be more upset with traffic if this place wasn't so pretty.

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