Fire hydrant burst and this local cooling his feet... So New York! A #H&AGAPYEAR

The rat problem has got really serious at the Plastics Factory where our TV studio is kinda based. A

My suit has a security tag. Maybe the shifty guy who gave it to me didn't work for AG after all. A

A perfect bit of verse. Just got a call from Henry Lawson, he wants to book us all as writers. A

Congrats to all, collectively we trumped Shakespeare. Looking forward to the next #Twimerick. A

They have both opted to take their pants off for speed. No better day to do it. A

Contestant number 2: the Ice Ice Baby!

Contestant number 1: the Dennis!

At a Mongolian restaurant & Horgs has agreed to a chilli eating contest against this bloke. A

Dear whoever wanted the massive fish, I found it this evening. You're welcome. A

My house mate's not the cleanest bloke. His name is Nick. Please provide feedback for him. A

My housemate isn't the cleanest of blokes. His name is Nick. Please provide feedback for him. A

15 mins, 1 fork, job done. What a heist! I've dusted the fork for prints, so they won't get me. A

Guys, put this shirt on & the security tag is still attached. Don't have another shirt. Suggestions?

Okay Ham and Megs. Here it is... one pristine right footrotless kicker! Could eat off it and have. A