DrunkBastard

@DrunkBastard

Microwaving a cantaloupe for six seconds gets it the perfect temperature to fuck it. Don't cut the hole until after. #TheMoreYouKnow

Photos and Videos by @DrunkBastard

  • Timeline
  • Gallery

...ok, here's mine...

Just a friendly reminder...

How many more days until I leave North Carolina? Eighty. But who's counting?

This is the main newspaper in this state's capitol. Survey says: spell check, rednecks...

How many days until I leave North Carolina? 88. But NO, I'm not counting them down or anything...

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the best jukebox in the Southwest... TT's Roadhouse, Scottsdale, AZ...

Yeah. I'm a dick.

(FYI, we left $11 cash. Never leave a tip on a credit card. Ever. EVER.)

Yeah. I'm a dick.

(FYI, we left $11)

Ladies and gems, I present to you the double gunt. Welcome to North Carolina.

My first-ever Dick Pic. I feel so dirty.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your livers...

Ho ho ho.

...this is the best they'd do for me...

In case anyone thought I was kidding when I said that I was counting the days until I can escape NC...

Gee... How bad could THIS be?

One way to keep people from drinking out of my cup...

I'll take the under...