Don't ever read another DragonflyJonez tweet ever again. -Stan Van Gundy

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Then this. Red flags go up cuz aint no damn capuchin going for $350. So lets have fun #CapuchinMonkeyNegotiations

  • 630 days ago via site
  • 851

So I text that person. And the #CapuchinMonkeyNegotiations commence.

  • 630 days ago via site
  • 1,018

Watching 42. My dude is so humble he aint even tell me he was in it.

  • 638 days ago via site
  • 1,234

Bruce Springsteen

My pops has sent me like 3 texts my whole life. Sent this one this morning.

I reported that page and now it's gone. I'd like to think I had something to do with that. Pettyyy

  • 674 days ago via site
  • 644

She baked me some chicken pot pie cupcakes. *Kip voice* So I guess you can say things are getting serious.

Had to let everyone know I was drinking Belvedere. And wearing Armani. What a fuckin lame #TwitpicYourMyspacePic

  • 712 days ago via site
  • 948

Don't let a bear take your job.

When you try to look fake concerned when your coworker is choking.

Why is getting old so wack?

And guess who just missed the Cowboys being funny?

Diddy's Indian name would be He Who Can Never Fully Close His Mouth

This is what my Friday nights are about these days. #party #party #party

  • 766 days ago via site
  • 848

Everything you need to know about Cutler in one picture. This isn't photoshopped.

In unrelated news I found out Jason Statham was #untall today. We're happy to have you, Jason.

  • 778 days ago via site
  • 1,018

My favorite part of the night when we barhop.

I'm distinguished now.

Gotta be like my 8th time copping this. And every penny spent is worth it. Best fitted ever.

Eli is throwing so many pics that he's a terrorist now. Look who televised his presser