National Humour Columnist
Kudos to the trendy squirrel who's been planking for nearly 3 days in the fast lane in front of my house.
Pretty sure Eli Manning just sexted me.
@RealDonElliott This was my column photo a few years back. Lol
@robdelaney There's always one prick that ruins a perfectly good shot! #supermoon
@rickygervais Why is there always one prick that ruins a perfectly good shot? #supermoon
@pulmyears Why is there always one prick that ruins a perfectly good shot? #supermoon
C'mon girls look at that 70's feathered hair!!! He's jump you say where do you want me to land? #cantkeepstr8face
Good sign Cory Schneider is on his game. Picked the exact same NFL winners as I did this weekend.
My alarm just went off. #TebowTime
Proof my lazy ass runs a food morgue. #shreddedtweet
@puckchk And this account. Lol
To those poor souls who were Rapture scammed, the end of the world really means the end of your life savings. #shreddedtweet
Find out how an eccentric eats a Cadbury Easter Creme Egg. #shreddedtweet
I write about the Antichrist on of all days Osama Bin Laden's birthday? #shreddedtweet
Just in case it gets old quick here's my one shot at the world of Charlie Sheen. #shreddedtweet.
@cornlog Can you do me a solid and make a horrific comment on my cat @BirdMurderer?
All I wanted was juice!!! Apparently the blood of Christ consists of Acai Pomegranate. #crystaliseethelight
Spoiler Alert - Movie theatre Golden Topping could lead to extra squirts. This weeks #shreddedtweet.
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