It's official. Last night at @HughHefner's Midsummer Nights Dream Party we agreed to do a buddy road movie together. We play virgins.

I'm trending alongside fellow comedian Jerry Seinfeld. This is guaranteed the only time you will find us on the same bill.

Perfect day pre 4th July BBQ. Thanks all that swung thru. Highlight singing No Excuses w/my friend @JerryCantrell

Received hundreds of pix from around the globe. My fav right here. I call it HUNGRY PRESIDENT. Photoshop time?

At 14 years old I was predicting a 2011 Bruins victory. Here's proof. FYI my sister Courtney was the ThumbsUp Killer.

Found my old diary. Fun facts - 1. I invented the Twitter format. 2. I had the exact same week recently.

At Motley Crüe killing the Hollywood Bowl. Tommy Lee is upside down in this pic. Amazing night.

Here is a pic of Beast he has been missing for 1 hour.

Celebrating my graduation at Kowloon. Proof update.

Hanging with The Beast, aka Beastie Boy, aka Face, aka BumBum, aka Little Man, aka Brattitude, aka Sneaky Shit.

I had no idea the South Park guys took a shot at me in the "Funnybot" episode. I'm honored & insulted all at once. Finally!

1st THANK U4 emails 2nite <unreal stories-cool pix-some dumb/weird> Tons of fans have SU-FI tats THIS is a 1st HA

My beautiful mother Donna Jean. I would not have anything without her sacrifice & (sometimes tough) love. Todays your day mom. I miss you, love you very much.

1 more. This ones like Where's Waldo but this is called Where's Jeff Ross? (hint: nudity)

Singing w/@Steel_Panther at House of Blues. Their new album is gonna get you pregnant. #CNN

Wow. What timing. I'm actually in a Denver bar "eye-banging" a girl while on a very serious conference call.

The Tao roofdeck will be open tomorrow night for my bday party. Also open-the entire desert surrounding us.

Killer poster 4 my new flick #DETENTION premiering at #SXSW this weekend. The movies insane on so many levels.

I had the original Bieber haircut w/a little Ben Franklin on the sides. I also worked at Gulf gas station part time so I had a few sheckles to buy a pretty gal some Razzles.

Getting work done 24/7. Except for Presidents Day. That's when I allow myself to stop and take a photo.