Before Twitter, I just talked to myself when I assumed no one important was within earshot. Fuck off. Don't follow me.
@lifesfinale As long as you wear a mask like this nigg.
I found my headstone today.
Been a jealous bitch since forever. @DSorantino
A six-month-long build-up to the worst April Fools joke ever.
"I love when the bass drops ... Why da fuck would you wanna break up?!" #gucci
The most awkward, heavy, and well-presented tip I've ever received.
Late night elevator rides whilst delivering pizza to the old folk's home.
It's a lovely day to have gotten lost in a gigantic creepy ass local camp ground.
How can a bug this fat, clumsy and stupid fly into a moving car? These things are like my personal stalkers/demons.
At least they get sad when I leave.
Steps, a pair of shrubs, and a porch light all surrounding a window. You seem to have misplaced your front door, sir.
"Unexpected Road," you were not fucking joking.
My bffs for the next four hours, Joe and Carlos.
Gonna rename my ForeverLazy onesie to a ForeverLonely. #happyvalentinesday
Gonna rename my ForeverLazy onesie to a ForverLonely. #happyvalentinesday
@lifesfinale Kinda something like this, in case you forgot.
God I hope I never have to take a mugshot. My face always looks five times fatter than ever in these type of pictures.
My boyfriend likes to pretend that I'm funny to make me feel better about my life. His "angel <3" is a d-bag.
I don't have my supplies but I still need to make some artsy bullshit. #laundromat
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