Five dolla cufflinks/the new standard in fancy/dear god I'm so gay
I've been here before/I was political then/now I'm just drunk
These birds are my friends/I've given them all a name/they're calle d DJ Bird
Are you serious?/Are you really serious?/I mean, c'mon! Really?
Keeping track of drunks/it's what I do at this con/too bad none are girls
Afros and v masks/everything you need to suck/moot spins in his gra ve
I retract that tweet/this is so much fucking worse/my homo died too
I've seen the worst/the worst humanity has:/Harry Potter's Grease
Fat lesbos on stage/doing a raunchy bit/my hetero died
A case of Brawndo/question: what could be better?/answer: two cases
The world's greatest gift/Chocolate covered bacon/ OH! DIABEETUS!
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