Utterly shocked not one kid got hurt in the Giant Hampster Wheel. #hollisbday

Each year I come to Hollis's school and teach his class how to play Flip Cup.

Foxy Lady. Wow. Cant tell ya what we saw in there. 10:50

I love this part of EuroTrip

Lol or cry? At Haydens art show and one if his classmates made a Bert puppet. Time for that nose job!

Creepers @JeffDauler and @sanjayguptaCNN stalking you tube sensations @meganandliz

@FurbusJoel who are you?

@JeffDauler 5 cars in front of the driveway today.

Was crappy havin to cut Hollis's hair but, hell, it looks good, right?

How much sh%$ is the @TheBertShow gonna give me tomorrow about this?

Sorry. My brother in law is taken ladies!

Damn. Shes a nurse and has to go the the hospital with this thing tomorrow.

My brother in law in the am. His wife is ONE LUCKY LADY!

No idea why this dude is on my phone but he does look like i feel right now.

. @StaceyWeiss went to bed early last night and woke up to this in the am. pissed not a strong enough word.

Night 2 of bday wknd. Sister in law won/lost our hickey competition last night. Seemed like a good idea at 11pm

Night 2 of bday wknd begins w/ bro in law and wife renewing vows on the beach at sunset.

Night 2 of bday wknd begins w/ my bro in law & wife renewing vows at sunset w/ the wolfpack

Nothing like finding the perfect fitting hat and a recovery protein drink.

Mannequin Guapo is demanding we take turns on watch so we dont get attacked by Pirates.