I'm the funniest person my kids know. For a good time, call (650) 937-9442.

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Sexy times.

This school is basically in a haunted plantation.

X-rays. Help.


Hooray! I got $20! Thanks Twitter.

Wallaby! a.k.a. "Kangarat".

Emily says hi, Internet.

Happiness is going round and round and round and round and round.

Happy New Year East Coast!

The evening looks up. #nintendoendrunked

The Mega Man 2 password for where I'm stopping tonight. 20 years ago I'd have written it down.

HAM!!!! Let's yell about it. #WEAREYELLINGABOUTHAM

Say what you want about the Chipmunks movies, but Erin LOVES them. So, that's why.

I went in for a haircut and completely changed my hairstyle.

Mad-eye Moody!

Can someone explain why new socks come in a resealable bag? I'm sure I'm not putting them back in.

This shampoo turns your hair into a lion jumping out of the side of a building.

This underwear was into being worn before it was cool.