@ianmodmoore I promise all yours was eaten except for a little bit at the bottom which I just had with some Applewood

@GroveLodgeVets I do, a one-eyed pug called Godfrey. I've had pugs all my life, I love them! #pugsnotdrugs

Done! #Livingthedream

What a beautiful evening... *sigh*

What's the worst job you ever had?

Have just been shat on by a seagull whilst on the phone to @marcthevet #irony #littleshit #thebirdnotthevet #although

@IkklesaTwit @MargoJMilne This is what you're looking for:

@marcthevet I am ASSUMING Godfrey Giles has been featured?

@RufusHound Here's the girl version:

Just plain mental: #brightonmarathon

Least friendly runner #brightonmarathon

Some marathon runners from Loose Women #brightonmarathon

Squeamish people don't look:

Gone fishing. Literally.

Good job, bad headline #todaysnewstomorrowsetc

My mother's flowering quince (not a euphemism)

Hot news:

Instead of 'feet' it should say 'willy' lol haha #bankholidayhumour #shutup

Can you spot what I gave my father for his birthday?

See?! *goes for a lie-down*