Ancient Portland


Guide to the Curious and Notable Ancient Wonders found in the Most Noble City of Portland, Oregon. Named Best of Portland by @wweek

Photos and Videos by @AncientPortland

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Ancient Queen Ada of Portlandia killed one of the Dutch Bros., cut off his head, and made it drink the swill he peddled in life.

  • 1012 days ago via site
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King John VIII of Portland (identifiable by his hipster 'stache) tells Christopher Columbus to go f--- himself, 1850, oil on canvas (Oregon Historical Society)

  • 1017 days ago via site
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[Rough translation:] "…tonight the chef is offering Oregon Terrestrial Mollusk with a Sicilian orange remoulade on a bed of locally-sourced Larkspur" c. 1561 (OHS MS. Schnizter 3213)

  • 1039 days ago via site
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Allegory of September, AKA The Last Berries of Sauvie Island, mid-13th century, Cathedral of Our Lady of Linnton

  • 1060 days ago via site
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"I mean, it's nice and everything, O Lord, but is it a Certified Backyard Habit?" (1625)

  • 1071 days ago via site
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"Fuck your Communal Seating and Small Plates" (Oil on canvas, Portlandian, 1871)

  • 1073 days ago via site
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This 1744 painting was brought in by a Lake Oswego collector. Inscription on reverse reads: "Portlandian History." Frankly, we're baffled.

  • 1078 days ago via site
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Jan van Hosford, "Expulsion of the Hipsters from Vancouver, AKA The Founding of Portland," c. 1618 (oil on canvas)

  • 1104 days ago via site
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In case you ever forget what our Portlandian troops overseas are fighting for. #freedom #newseasons

  • 1167 days ago via site
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  • 1178 days ago via site
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"Diogenes Searching the U.S. Senate for 60 Honest Men," c. 1642

  • 1197 days ago via site
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"Earl of Lichfield humbly admits to Portlandian General that his Park is Not the Tiniest" 1635 (Lichfield Heritage Centre) #parkfight

  • 1203 days ago via site
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So excited my Governor John Kitzhaber action figure just arrived!

  • 1207 days ago via site
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William Kerns, "Portlandia suckles Clackamas, Gresham, Aloha, Beaverton, Hillsboro, Lake Oswego, Tigard, Tualatin, and Vancouver" (1883)

  • 1212 days ago via site
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St. James the Delimiter, patron of Librarians, bludgeoned to death for Shushing a Pagan (fresco, Multnomah County Central Library, 1440)

  • 1239 days ago via site
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Zebulon Wilshire of Scappoose, Winner of the 1640 Portland Moustache Competition - Erotic/Mythological Category

  • 1244 days ago via site
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Wow, Charlie Hales is getting serious about this Columbia River crossing thing!

  • 1254 days ago via site
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Captain Elijah Shannon (1832-1921) of Portland, Ore., founder of VooDoo Dough-Nuts (Photo: PSU Special Collections)

  • 1257 days ago via site
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"The Founding of Viking Burger" (detail), c. 1080, Wool embroidered on a linen background
(Oregon Historical Society)

  • 1260 days ago via site
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