Allen E. Simpson


World's laziest superhero. If I'm following you, it obviously isn't from this account, but the cover is obvious. Yes, it's a conspiracy.

Photos and Videos by @AlynAlyxWest

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This picture reads: "Let's analyze what's on the American Stage...and why."

The Questionable Giraffe riding shotgun.

A declarative and accurately self-identifying label and statement.

It seems a comically amusing, borderline-obnoxious amount of hype and noise is required to sell makeup. Who knew.

Fascinating animals, all.

Who's targeting who and who's following Y? It's true...I did target and shadow him half a block to get that pic.

Like a little tug boat, #22 the pulled the big bus out of the stall and pushed across the street to the heavy tow.

Using my van to push a disabled double-decker out of the way. #22totheRescue

Using my van to push a disabled double-decker out of the way. #22totheRescue

This evening finds the time machine in 2003-ish as the home 'improvement' project suddenly takes a comically insufficent turn towards being a future, retroactively sourced, extreme dwelling modification under the influence reality TV show/movie/documentary...the general underlying rationalization and plan for the entire life tangent taken in such an otherwise hilariously unthinkable direction. This episode picks up my friend Matt following me around my house and extreeeeeme work in progress with the videocamera as I explain all sorts of random sh7t in between building a motorized 12-foot-wide projector screen to come down as-needed and create a partition between my master bedroom and the adjacent previous bedroom that I had, at this point, knocked a 12-foot hole through so I could turn it into my office studio...the design theory brilliance of the projector screen I'm in the process of creating with random improvised spare parts and motors from various other machines I has disassembled for their components is, the projector was mounted above my bed projecting towards the center of the room, so when this wall-sized screen came down (complete with flame lights across the aluminum rain gutter I was using as the weighted base of the screen) whatever was being projected on it could not only be seen from my bed (which at this point has also been modified to look like it was floating in mid air, with a 6-foot mirror over it, three subwoofers mounted out-of-sight to the underside of the frame ensuring one could truly feel the sound, and I don't even know how many surround sound speakers and custom remote-controlled lighting schemes hidden behind the fabric false ceiling...I could go on...but it would take all night to explain the extent of the designs and modifications I'd dreamt up and was building and installing by hand at that point) but also, the inverse, mirror image could also be seen from the office/studio side, and since the audio/video/computer system was fully integrated throughout the entire house (long before this was common or easy to do folks...this took some seriously and arguably misplaced dedicated effort on my part)...whatever was be played or seen on one screen in one room could selectively be broadcast to all other rooms at the same time. In summary...holy f7ck I completely forgot just how f7cking insanely cool and how much never-before-seen-type over-the-top sh7t I had planned for my ultimate bachelor pad and living 3D 'experiential' art canvas I was building...until too many other projects got piled on on top of it and a certain ex-girlfriend turned evil-I-don't-even-know-what decided to just show up after not hearing a word from her in over two years and break into my house and my life and pretty much just nuke the entire project and my sanity with whatever still-incomprehensible-to-this-very-day degree of evil behavior and persona she had adopted in place of the multiple-pet-name-having-pedestal-perched-Barbie-doll-Lakergirl-princess I made her into back when we dated...but that blindsiding nightmarish turn and twist to this on-camera ultimate research and design project of mine doesn't happen for another year or so at the point in the storyline where tonight's video finds things. Notice in the picture of me in my garage as Matt films me building and rambling on about God only knows what in between breaking into hilarous bursts of 'raver shuffle' dance for comedic effect...notice what's on the door behind me leading from the garage into the house...yup...that same omnipresent CLOSED SET well as one of the old personal plates from my Stealth that said INVSBL. Dude...this whole storyline is mind blowing and unique on a level that you'd just have to see to believe...but if nothing else, it's damn sure entertaining. This whole treasure chest of content I created and saved untouched for all these years is, exactly as it was expected and intended to be, completely fascinating. And as far as filling in the blanks and explaining the 'prequel' to the storyline when I suddenly burst onto the center of the behind-the-scenes ultimate stage back in 2006 in barely recognizable condition...but with that same core and ultimate goal/plan...this is priceless. Yay. Go me. 'night.

Only in LA...

No doubt it's hot...but I think the Genesis might be being a bit pessimistic about it.

In other, slightly related, news...I might have gotten a bit carried away w/ googly eye acquisition awhile back.

My array of security system 'fair warning' signs up to even 's exacting googly-eyed standards.

We need a spotlight so all the Wutang symbols will become butterfly shadow puppets. #UnitedWeStand

Wu-tang! Wu-tang! Wu-tang! etc. @ #UnitedWeStand

If only the rest of the population were as remotely well-informed and passionate as the #UnitedWeStand crowd.

. @ #UnitedWeStand One of the few cats using his talent for good.

. etc. at #UnitedWeStand

Don't know who these cats are...but his shirt says 'The Native Alien Tribe.' Cute.