Allen E. Simpson


World's laziest superhero. If I'm following you, it obviously isn't from this account, but the cover is obvious. Yes, it's a conspiracy.

Photos and Videos by @AlynAlyxWest

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The front of her shirt says "KEEP CALM and DON'T BE A DICK. okay?"

This is one of my favorites. Conveniently coordinates with the blue as well.

Wonder if that's an alias. Let's find out.

Just occurred to me the Stark Industries logo on my shirt is the same as that the 7 is derived from in 007. Cute.

Some days everything feels like a movie set. Even taking the random variations of coincidence into consideration.

#KTHXGR8 I lapped the #Emmys at LA Live on my way home...for you.

I concur.

...and off goes The Jaguar back into the forest with her new and improved Jaguarmobile... Awww... *pat*pat*pat*

*rolls eyes*

You can say I'm not funny...but would anyone actually believe you? #FoundDecorations

No one will ever tell you I'm not an invaluable friend to have. Just bought The Jaguar a matching Genesis Coupe.

Apparently no idea whether I'm "rich" or "poor." Haven't counted in months. Meh. It's all relative. :/ *sigh*

Today I learned you never realize how dirty your driveway actually is until you impulsively buy a pressure washer.

Went to Harbor Freight for $20 worth of stuff...spent $350 & the receipt's as long as my truck's hood. *facepalm*

. This you kids?

The making a cameo appearance...again. This time a random lady fell down went boom. Possible overkill.

Took 'the scenic route' over Mulholland to avoid Hollywood Bowl traffic on the way back to Hollywood from Universal...a park ranger goes flying by with lights and sirens on...then the rescue chopper and an bird start circling Runyon Canyon...all par for the course...the interesting part is, after I switched from the van back to the motorcycle and clocked I walked back out to the motor court...I could hear a big chopper flying low overhead...and was like 'WTF is the rescue chopper doing flying that low way over here?'.........look up to discover it's not the LAFD chopper flying's one of the Fed's black blackhawks buzzing Hollywood. Dafuq is really goin' on y'all?

The joining us s this evening for unknown reasons.

Driving in circles. *chasing my tail*chasing my tail*chasing my tail*

...then they all get directly empirically measured against #ThatQuestionableGiraffe riding shotgun...who always tips zer0...which is 100 percent of its net worth...and it is the perfect audience member/client...every time...and doesn't even take up any seat space in the van where other infinitely (by direct comparison) more valuable specimens could otherwise sit. You might be surprised at the stats/ might not be...but I just keep accurate score a scientist analyzing and measuring cultures, individuals, consideration, and empathy....just in case there turns out to be a direct correlation with their beings, souls, and/or programming...right? Right.