Allen E. Simpson

@AlynAlyxWest

World's laziest superhero. If I'm following you, it obviously isn't from this account, but the cover is obvious. Yes, it's a conspiracy. http://t.co/9pNt3vSJ

Photos and Videos by @AlynAlyxWest

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Today I learned you never realize how dirty your driveway actually is until you impulsively buy a pressure washer.

Went to Harbor Freight for $20 worth of stuff...spent $350 & the receipt's as long as my truck's hood. *facepalm*

. This you kids?

The making a cameo appearance...again. This time a random lady fell down went boom. Possible overkill.

Took 'the scenic route' over Mulholland to avoid Hollywood Bowl traffic on the way back to Hollywood from Universal...a park ranger goes flying by with lights and sirens on...then the rescue chopper and an bird start circling Runyon Canyon...all par for the course...the interesting part is, after I switched from the van back to the motorcycle and clocked out...as I walked back out to the motor court...I could hear a big chopper flying low overhead...and was like 'WTF is the rescue chopper doing flying that low way over here?'.........look up to discover it's not the LAFD chopper flying low...it's one of the Fed's black blackhawks buzzing Hollywood. Dafuq is really goin' on y'all?

The joining us s this evening for unknown reasons.

Driving in circles. *chasing my tail*chasing my tail*chasing my tail*

...then they all get directly empirically measured against #ThatQuestionableGiraffe riding shotgun...who always tips zer0...which is 100 percent of its net worth...and it is the perfect audience member/client...every time...and doesn't even take up any seat space in the van where other infinitely (by direct comparison) more valuable specimens could otherwise sit. You might be surprised at the stats/results...you might not be...but I just keep accurate score anyway...like a scientist analyzing and measuring cultures, individuals, consideration, and empathy....just in case there turns out to be a direct correlation with their beings, souls, and/or programming...right? Right.

...then they all get directly empirically measured against #ThatQuestionableGiraffe riding shotgun...who always tips zer0...which is 100 percent of its net worth...and it is the perfect audience member/client...every time...and doesn't even take up any seat space in the van where other infinitely (by direct comparison) more valuable specimens could otherwise sit. You might be surprised at the stats/results...you might not be...but I just keep accurate score anyway...like a scientist analyzing and measuring cultures, individuals, consideration, and empathy....just in case there turns out to be a direct correlation with their beings, souls, and/or programming...right? Right.

Worst. #relfie Ever.

Operated by: Nope. HA-ha.

Love this. Wag tail wag.

Some cat is giving star homes' tours in a stretch limo with the plate ULT 22. My omnipresent ultimate catch 22.

Sylvr at Sunset while visiting my dad at Forest Lawn. I don't take him out enough these days.

Stopping by to say #HappyFathersDay to my dad. He would be 98 today. Wow.

Look who actually left the carport today.

#TimeShiftSunday with Look what I stumbled across on my bookshelf last night...my token randomly-grabbed-from-the-cover-of-a-magazine dreamgirl stand-in giraffe to consciously replace all images/thoughts of my problematic Stella DeBeer Facebook ex-girlfriend in my mind back in 2010 (after Stella went from trying to convince me to move to TelAviv and live in her oceanside penthouse with her to getting all super-offended when I mocked/questioned her New Age religion and her behavior in general...which resulted in her disappearing from my FB world and life immediately and completely as a result....ironically validating the suspicions I had about her M.O./worldview/behavior in general and unfortunately reminding me that I'm usually pretty much always right in my highly analytical assessment of random strangers' characters...even when I don't want to be...b/c they happen to be extremely rich and good-looking...but, alas, that alone is not enough for my overclocked mind to overlook their relative of lack of intelligence...sense of humor....and highly materialistic personality...but I guess it comes with the territory of of being born an heiress to a...err...THE diamond empire...b/c, having done my homework...I considered to be a complete sham/fraud, and regardless of the insane amounts of money and prestige involved...it's just not an arena and realm I could willfully and wantingly be involved with...so that was that, no more Stella...and suddenly I was thrust back into being completely alone overnight...a scenario I was perfectly comfortable and fine with, having spent the majority of my adult life dating absolutely aesthetically gorgeous women...who were also, more othen than not, completely crazy...so although I was all-too-familiar with the scenario I had recently just been exposed to...again...alas my persona simply cannot tolerate dating extremely good-looking women simply because they are extremely good-looking...unless I'm trying to torture my sanity...so, awhile back, I had promised myself I would not date any girl I wouldn't/couldn't conisdering marrying....in the name of mutally respectfually avoiding the torture where I'm 'supposed to be' had I not spent the last 10 years in of pouring the requisate time and .rdelibrate isolation in my house, alone on the hill acquiring the necessary footage and experience to create my ultimate retroactive reality TV show

#TimeShiftSunday with Look what I stumbled across on my bookshelf last night...my token randomly-grabbed-from-the-cover-of-a-magazine dreamgirl stand-in giraffe to consciously replace all images/thoughts of my problematic Stella DeBeer Facebook ex-girlfriend in my mind back in 2010 (after Stella went from trying to convince me to move to TelAviv and live in her oceanside penthouse with her to getting all super-offended when I mocked/questioned her New Age religion and her behavior in general...which resulted in her disappearing from my FB world and life immediately and completely as a result....ironically validating the suspicions I had about her M.O./worldview/behavior in general and unfortunately reminding me that I'm usually pretty much always right in my highly analytical assessment of random strangers' characters...even when I don't want to be...b/c they happen to be extremely rich and good-looking...but, alas, that alone is not enough for my overclocked mind to overlook their relative of lack of intelligence...sense of humor....and highly materialistic personality...but I guess it comes with the territory of of being born an heiress to a...err...THE diamond empire...b/c, having done my homework...I considered to be a complete sham/fraud, and regardless of the insane amounts of money and prestige involved...it's just not an arena and realm I could willfully and wantingly be involved with...so that was that, no more Stella...and suddenly I was thrust back into being completely alone overnight...a scenario I was perfectly comfortable and fine with, having spent the majority of my adult life dating absolutely aesthetically gorgeous women...who were also, more othen than not, completely crazy...so although I was all-too-familiar with the scenario I had recently just been exposed to...again...alas my persona simply cannot tolerate dating extremely good-looking women simply because they are extremely good-looking...unless I'm trying to torture my sanity...so, awhile back, I had promised myself I would not date any girl I wouldn't/couldn't conisdering marrying....in the name of mutally respectfually avoiding the torture where I'm 'supposed to be' had I not spent the last 10 years in of pouring the requisate time and .rdelibrate isolation in my house, alone on the hill acquiring the necessary footage and experience to create my ultimate retroactive reality TV show

I'm f7cking ridiculous.

Drove across the street to CVS to buy a gallon of milk. Stopped at the Dollar Store. This happened. *facepalm*