Allen E. Simpson


World's laziest superhero. If I'm following you, it obviously isn't from this account, but the cover is obvious. Yes, it's a conspiracy.

Photos and Videos by @AlynAlyxWest

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...racking your brain trying to figure out how you could have injured yourself so profoundly and not even noticed it...then remembering 'oh, it might have been when I accidentally dropped my 500 lb motorcycle on it...' a few days ago after my shoelace got caught on the right footpeg preventing me from putting my foot down midway through a very sharp, low speed right hand turn into the parking garage when a bunch of retards stopped mid-driveway preventing me from accelerating out of the scenario. Meh. It was also a not-so-friendly reminder to myself exactly why I used to always tuck my shoelaces down the tongue of my shoes and/or buy considerably shorter shoelaces to prevent any excess slack from getting tangled up on the footpegs or control levers of the bike...but somewhere over the last few years I just forgot/got lazy about it...and suddenly *boom* *dink* down goes the bike. *facepalm* I was far more upset about the tiny scratches the incident left on Buhlit's fairing at the time and my own stupidity/forgetfulness/bad luck in being forced to drop the bike as I did...didn't even occur to me how hard the bike apparently hit my leg on the way down. Whoops. All week I noticed my right calf felt like it was bruised...but I assumed I must have just bumped it on something and didn't even bother looking at it...until yesterday evening when I inadvertently was changing out of the cargo-type pants I wear for work into a pair of shorts... Then I was all like 'What the f7ck? the hell did I injure myself so noticeably and not even notice it?' it took me awhile to figure out, but I guess it must have been the result of that incident with the bike. Not sure whether or not I should be concerned that I can accidentally incur such physical injury and then just keep on going while ignoring any/all related pain/weakness. Suddenly feel like one of those idiots that 'incidentally' breaks a few ribs playing football and just keeps on playing assuming the pain is just going to subside at some point. Guess that would also explain why/how the middle toe on my right foot got so bruised the toenail finally fell off last night. Whoops. Meh.

That awkward moment when you realize why your calf has been feeling like it was bruised all week...b/c it was. :/

Walmart might wanna work on their efficiency...there was more empty space in the box than goods and airpacks. Meh.

...somebody got a new cover... It's Sylvr. Sylvr got a new cover...from Coverite. Spelling optional.

...somebody got a new cover... It's Sylvr. Sylvr got a new cover...from Coverite. Spelling optional.

. Got mine. least random complete strangers aimlessly & inspecifically recognize & appreciate me/you/us. Thanks! :)

They named the road going into the new apt complex they're building off Cahuenga 'Wright Lane.' Awesome.

...aaannnd off into the darkness New & Improved Jaguar 2.0 goes... *pat*pat*pat* Go Jaguar Go Jaguar Go!!!

New & Improved Jaguar 2.0 now w/spoiler exiting stage right...

New & Improved Jaguar 2.0 now w/ spoiler. #riorities

What did I won?

Oh...there's my cap! Must be invisible. aifinkso Hey cat...nice shirt...

Today's mystery: How in the hell did this small white pebble get inside the sealed housing of Buhlit's headlights?

The wider in-action shot. Cat paramedic ambulance now also on scene. That made my day.

The just rolled-up, broke-out a ladder & climbed to the roof of a two-story apt to rescue that cat. #awesome I go acquiring sh7t I may never actually use just b/c it's cool and crossed my path... Meh. I go acquiring sh7t I may never actually use just b/c it's cool and crossed my path... Meh.

Ha. Although, as with everything/everyone else, I would and an asterisk... *some

Think my Halloween costume just found me. #WorldsLaziestSuperHero ftw