Creepy...

I ran into @TomWilsonUSA recently, and he was nice enough to show me his larger-than-human head.

Never! NEVER!!!

I always get a little grossed out whenever I see a Pepsi sphincter.

Oh, so THAT's where everything is.

Isn't it annoying when people have no sense of personal space?

Hello, Minneapolis!

People in Albuquerque are so friendly! These guys even invited me to their meth lab!

Where can I find a vest like this?

Such sad news. RIP Dick Clark.

Hope you caught Andy Samberg's Weird Al impersonation on SNL last night!

Reminder: Always paint a small swatch first to make sure you really love the color.

Why would the airline be encouraging people to do this?

So nice of them to have a bathroom at the airport just for me.

Worst. Party. Ever.

Oh man... I have NEVER gotten this lost at LAX before.

Kinda surprising - don't they usually save all the Oscar-bait movies till the end of the year?

In case you missed me last night on 30 Rock, here's a little nightmare fuel for you. You're welcome.

Do you think this is okay to eat?

Oh hai, ironic smokehouse!