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So... #TrueStory, the Nerf gun's barrel is even rifled. #AssaultWeapon #Toy

The Easter Bunny brought us assault weapons. Better get yours before the nannies take them.

Love this song. #WishItWouldBreak

This was part of my 1990's hood pass.

I've got grey hair growing in on the sides, but it's not too bad. #ItsABugNotAFeature

My Friday night. (and no, he's not mine, just lending a hand)

If you don’t like the Eddie Money Geico commercial, you’re a bigger grump than I am.

I’m glad your mom could protect her family.

Bring. The action. #nowplaying Scream & Shout (feat. Britney Spears) by

About that “Ft. Hood was a military base” thing… The shooting was in a gun free zone. So, yeah…

You guys are #BurnNotice buddies!

You’re right. I had it confused with this:


Unannounced guest comes over when you have sinus infection? Put on only hat you can find within 10 sec (it’s plaid)…

I keep telling my girlfriend she’s trying too hard.

Castle's daughter is like out of control hot.

Hey, , guess what's on the radio...

Great minds.

Get a sinus infection and don't wash dishes for 24 hours... #TeamEffThis

Put your carts away...