I host game shows, talk action movies, dabble in sports comedy & occasionally take to the stage to make with the funny. Add beer & nachos...it's a good time.
If you've ever wondered what becomes of abandoned biscuits...
Perhaps theist misleading hair care product name of all time?
Hey @riteaid - great idea 2 have counter full of candy where people pick up meds 4 diabetes obesity, etc...
Author's name of this abandonned book is really what all men want most in this life.
My crazy dog Daisy warned me to quit interrupting her nap w/my wife by flashing her lazer eyes.
Only in America do we have The Pirahna, the device that opens any plastic container...except the one it's in.
Hey! Let's all play "Watch @mccarthyredhead pretend 2 carry a TV into an actor's house".
MSG regrets 2 inform u animals or good taste may have been harmed in making Clyde Frazier's outfit 2nite
When someone brings this 2 your Super Bowl party u know things could get nuts, quickly.
Oh neat, the issue of SI that never came just arrived at my house. Great. #SIjinx #bitterpatsfan
"Wait, these cookies taste like foot & sad!" #letsgopats
And here's your gratuitous countertop fruit smiley 2 start the week off adorably
I've heard of bed head, but sofa head? And it's a faux hawk? FML!
This shirt is in as much hell as I'm in right now #sadpatriotsfan
Anyone for a Hot & Spicy Ding Dong? #funnycuzitstrue
Also taken here? Your organs, which are then sold on the black market.
It's deep-fried goodness was either here to feed us, or destroy us. Either way we ate it.
Odd reason 2 love Basketball Hall of Fame? Looks more like a supervillain lab than a HoF.
Hello, prime of my childhood. Can't believe I'm going 2 see @peeweeherman show 2nite...on b'way!
Finally, an establishment with their priorities in order...
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