Stand up comedian and TV presenter. Follow the show @chattyman. My Spexy Beast DVD is out now! http://t.co/ZoI0godQ6j
Thank you so my much @DGandyOfficial for my prezzie - how did you know I was an XXL, with a reinforced gusset elasticated waist kind a guy
I wish @therealgokwan would tell me if a huge fucking dragon was going to turn up at his party #chokedonacupcake
Dust pan and brushes come in leopard skin - who knew?
Found it! Ta!
Look at me bobbing out solving crimes by myself without getting the police involved
There's not many days walking your dog in London is like being on safari.
I've been dog sitting this little beauty all day. Cute! And the dog ain't bad either - well twitter you were thinking it
Doing karaoke with @JasonManford - wow! What a voice!!
@JasonManford @SingerTakesAll I love this photo so much
@botaniclabjuice thank you for the wonderful pick me up juices - they go lovely with a bit of voddie ;) x
Maybe your little Lego @AngelaBarnes could meet my little Alan #dontaskwhytheyputmeinpants
Guess who was pulling pints at The Juggs (yes I know) in lewes today
Another kick in the face @heatworld - there's only so much a man can take ;) ..... #wheresalan
Need some tasty eateries options for Abergavenny please... Oh wait!
Loving the artwork in my hotel bedroom. A painting of flowers in a vase? Fruit in a bowl? No, Stephanie Cole in Tenko
But we can't forget our boys #redarrows
Then this happened....
Oh ok, that last tweet didn't do it justice - but will try to recreate the experience through twit-pic
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