every once in awhile i will see something that hits me so hard its all i can think about and i have to paint it over and over again . . . . .

three months ago I heard a story of a young man who was always at odds with his father whom he loved and wanted approval from.

What he didnt know is that because his mom had an affair and became pregnant with him, because the man he would know as his father found out about it, and because it would shame their family it was kept a secret but the man simply raised him with his other siblings as one of his own. However the thing about a betrayal unresolved is that it often comes out in leaks insidious cancerous and all over the place in slow silence over time. The man never said he hated this boy for what he was, the bastard child of his wife's affair, but he did. AS a small child it was easy for his father to look past it but when he grew up to be a man, independant and with his own set of rules it was no longer something that could be managed and so a broken heart created more broken hearts.

After a time the hatred became worse and it changed forever the emotional capacity of this young man, unable to get close, unable to reach out he turned often to painting. Then as if by accident he found himself falling in love with a girl. So out of touch from his own emotions after all of this time he himself didnt even realize it until she came to a charity where he had donated one of his paintings. Wanting to be supportive more so she just wanted to see the painting, and maybe even more so see him.

The painting, a snowflake, has stuck in my head. In charms and talisman, in the language of spiritual symbology it is the symbol of inner beauty through knowing one's self and strength. It is the ability to be fragile but strong, silent and beautiful through a life is wisdom and self understanding and placement. Think on it, how can something so one of a kind so fragile that the brush of a single fingertip could destroy it stand the wind and push of the great outdoors and still be perfect as itself and beautiful.

Here, this way it is painted it is in the dark of a forest, in heroic proportion so that it is larger than nature would usually permit, or is it simply being looked at closely through a small patch of twig attempting to otherwise hide it. I have been painting variation up on variation of this feeling it gives me of solace, a secret fantastic, perhaps even that beautiful loneliness a graduated soul feels when the rest of the world at its level simply does not understand it. There is something here, and I just had to share lol yeah i know im bonkers, im an artist we go deep look close and fixate to madness.

All in all its simply a beautiful piece.

Im thinking it might just have inspired the first series of 2014, pics to come soon, stay posted, thank you for reading, thank you for the love