Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.

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If you're a little kid who murders littler kids, do it at Mattress World! #portland

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1302 days ago

If you're a little kid who murders littler kids, do it at Mattress World! #portland

11 Comments

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willsaysfuw 1298 days ago

I'll eat this bugger, And then the baby gets it !

xatrax 1302 days ago

The chilling words, "It's not too late to sleep like a baby," infiltrate criminal parlance.

atomic_kitteh 1302 days ago

if you think thats creepy... you should see the tv advertisement it came from. #youhavenoidea

ed_reckoning 1302 days ago

The kid who angered young "Neil with the Deal" Leeds learned the hard way that, "I won't be beat!"

unmadepath 1302 days ago

In order to lower job market competition here in Portland, drastic measures must be taken...

zoomos 1302 days ago

A mattress store is actually hiring sign holders? who forgets they need a mattress?

jamesmoore80 1302 days ago

In case you missed your late term... plus Portland is great for cycling and foodies.

dannykahn4 1302 days ago

Well, that's my share of terrifying for the day. I'll be in my room, cowering.

Spodus 1302 days ago

Westboro Baptist Church's picket signs are getting really meta.

caspermartinez 1302 days ago

Shhhhhhhhh, you know how much Nyquil I had to give this mother fucker....

psionicprophet 1302 days ago

Hhhahahahahahaha