Writer for Grantland, perpetually awkward, etc.
2004 days ago
"What are you ladies up to tonight?"
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Tiger: "I've got a couple of IHOP Manager's Phone #s on speed dial." Big Ben: "Sweet, I know a 5'x5' room we can all party in."
Which one of yous is Doctor Zhivago? Your wife is on the line, she wants to know the directions to the cleaners.
A Priest, a Golfer, a Rabbi, and a QB, walk into a bar. Tiger says to Big Ben "wanna hit that", Priest says "too old for me", Rabbi says "thought you were married". Ben says "if she smokes she pokes"
Penicillin $10, Sports Coat $250, Limo $300. Making sure you never grow up "priceless"
Just think, if this was Haiti, we might have had that white wall sprung into action. "TOO SOON"
Dude, do you feel my right hand? Duuude, I feel your hand and raise you my left hand "all in" - "Make it a bud night"
Their forbidden love has held the Lost audience in suspense for 6 seasons, in 5 weeks it all comes to an end. Jack Bender directs the season end of Lost: 4 toed hearts club
I have to say it "WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT" - sorry but you put that on a Tee ")
The power gay club duo of Fritz and Longhorn brings you upscale service with down home southern hospitality in their new club "pink shirts" to Paradise City, FL
A match made in heaven, or some cocktail waitress's bajingo
Law Offices of Woods, Fratts, and Spunk LLC, we specialize in "personal touch" litigation. "Ladies 1/2 off on 1st case use code: PARTY"
Bicardi and Cola never looked so hip
Law and Order CWD: follow investigators Woods and Fratts as they sift through the land of chicks with and chicks w/out dxxks. "maam, we're going to have to strip search you or assault you, think of us like the Salem Witch Hunt of 2010." - Eeebert says "la
When Tango and Cash roll into your town, they bring the prize patrol to all the ladies who work at diners, bars, and strip clubs. "Thanks Tango and Cash for the blacked out night and $10k!" Carla - Bloomington, IN
hello girls. woul you like some salt n pepper on you
Hi, I'm Ben and this is my friend Tiger. Can we interest you ladies in a little supplemental restraint?
I'm with stupid.
Were just a couple of wild and crazy guys..
"Sure Tiger. She's waiting in the second stall and she's messed up"
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