Rest assured, i have now fixed this lift,(We had a delay getting the parts).

Well, when you hit the bottom, they do say "the only way is up". Hmm, better find the stairs then!

gotta use it to see this :D very british indeed...

Why is the sentance split over two lines, it's almost like there should be a drum roll between "This lift is" and "not in use."

Famous chef and food critic, Stephen Fry, gave his verdict on newly opened west-end restaurant: "The starter was particulary bad, it didn't go down well...neither did it go up..."

schrodinger's lift?

If a lift is not in use does that make it a still and not a lift?

If only these things happened on the way *too* work, not from it...

Please follow me :). Goodness me, it sounds horribly arrogant to ask that!

They're not kidding there.

a sinister giggle arose.

This is the sort of thing that would happen to me - it really made me chuckle! Sorry to laugh, but hey ho!

Stephen I have to ask. At anytime during the lift ordeal did you look toward your companions and wonder,if push came to shove,who would be most edible?

It should tell you that BEFORE you actually get inside the lift...
idiots

Oh Dear, you just know it will be one of those days

Err, the lift IS in use. It's just not working. ;)

This is up there with "may contain nuts" on peanut packets for asinine statements. Oh how we laughed.

bad times.

Oops, posted twice. Oh, and look, my paragraphing for effect was left out!! Gutted!

This lift is

a pile of poo.